Prowess
by HeathenVampires
Summary: Modern AU. Scott was trying to irritate his cousin when he made those remarks about Hiccup being bad in bed. Somehow, he accidentally ended up getting Hiccup laid instead. Hiccup/Heather/Astrid Heathcupstrid one shot.


**And another from the "accidental sex" prompt list! This brings the total up to four! Though there is no guarantee all four are posted yet. I write authors notes with a degree of optimism about how soon I'll do something, and then those sit around for ages becoming less and less relevant...**

 **anyway!**

 **Heather/Astrid/Hiccup**

 **"Playing a prank on our friend to make them think we're a thing and now we're in bed together" + "You said you don't like _ but I bet the person who you did it with wasn't very good. I could make you like it" + "All I'm saying is I've been told I'm a good lay... wanna find out?" + "we platonically slept together last night because of circumstances and we woke up horny"**

 **Let's have some fun!**

-HTTYD-

More than once, Hiccup questioned his decision to room with his friends and cousin. Justin - or Fishlegs, as he was affectionately nicknamed in childhood - was fine, quiet and bookish and always geeking out about plants. Tuff... Tuff was _Tuff._ He was only really a problem when his sister visited. Then something inevitably got blown up or melted or broken, or in the case of that lamp, glued to the ceiling with an unidentified thong hanging off it. It took _forever_ to get that down...

Scott, or Snotlout as he was often referred to, however, was fifty percent asleep or eating and fifty percent trying to pick up girls or test the endurance of his liver. Messy and without boundaries, it took the threat of homelessness to get him to stop stealing food rather than go buy his own. And now, with one of their regular parties in full swing, Hiccup was reminded again that his cousin was an utter lout. The parties were tamer than they used to be at least - Hiccup banned the guys who brought drugs, and after the third police-call-out he'd made Scott get rid of his excessively loud speakers. Now it was just the usual music, alcohol and hookups going up and down around him.

With their house being off-campus, and a little bigger than strictly necessary but _well worth_ it not to share a bathroom with Scott... they were often hosting get-togethers because they had the space, and since Scott's little follower Gus had dropped out of uni, a spare bedroom where they could dump anyone who needed to sleep it off. Or Scott, when they didn't want to carry him upstairs.

Escaping to the kitchen where the bass was less offensive to the ears, Hiccup scooped up a few of the little biscuits he and Justin had made earlier before grabbing a more substantial plate of pizza.

"Remind me again why we're here?"

"We were supposed to be Ruff's wingmen. Wingwomen. Wingmaidens? Whatever. That last shot has gone to my brain."

"Astrid, all the shots go to your brain. Can we leave yet?"

"Depends. Is Ruff too drunk to find her way home?"

Friends of his, Astrid and Heather, appeared in the kitchen probably in search of similar respite from noise and hook ups. They waved at Hiccup before Astrid descended on the food.

"No. She's pretty sober actually, but then I think she's out to get laid and doesn't want to pick up a clingy one again. Remember Throk?"

"Dibnhe- mmph" Astrid swallowed her food "didn't he turn up at our dorm to tell her they should get married?"

"Yep. Bit weird. Hey Hiccup. Are you avoiding your own party?"

"It's not my party. Just my house. Ish. I pay the highest chunk of rent in exchange for the best room."

"Wow, check you out! Come on, we can dance, check on Ruff and then decide when we can leave."

Astrid dragged Heather back towards the main hub of the party, and Hiccup reluctantly supposed he couldn't be antisocial forever in there. Tempting a prospect as it was. Finishing his pizza, Hiccup took a swallow of something strong and alcoholic to brace himself, then ventured back out, passing a tipsy Tuff who was saying something about peanut butter and fish fingers that Hiccup didn't want to hear the rest of.

"Get lost!"

Hiccup arrived back just in time to see Snot getting shot down (again) by a girl he was hitting on, who vanished off into the crowd.

"Oh, I thought you were _so_ in there when she told you she wasn't interested half an hour ago!"

Pricklier than usual with his wounded ego, Scott whipped round with a scowl.

"At least I'm _trying!_ When was the last time you touched a woman? Months ago, right?"

Well, he wasn't **wrong.**

"I'm not into one night stands."

"Yeah, cus you know you couldn't satisfy a woman. That must be why your girlfriend dumped _you._ I don't have that problem, thank you very much! Maybe you should get on with the one night stands. You can probably use the practice."

Scott stormed off to lick his wounds and probably try again, and Hiccup moved away from where people were staring. He was cornered only minutes later by Astrid and Heather in the kitchen, where he was getting a drink and sighing that despite it not being true, some people would think as his cousin Scott knew something not widely shared - like Hiccup being dumped for a lack of sexual prowess.

"See, I think your cousin is gross."

Hiccup snorted.

"Many people do."

"Astrid, maybe you shoulda started with an explanation for pinning him to the wall."

"Aww, but his surprised face was such fun. Right. Yeah, we think your cousin is gross. So we have a plan."

Minutes later, slightly stunned still, Hiccup was back in the main hub of the party. Astrid was more blatant now, fingers curling in his t-shirt collar and hauling him down for a kiss that tasted like the apple sours she'd drunk. Even tipsy as she was, Astrid was a hell of a kisser and Hiccup was left tingling despite rational thought telling him otherwise. Heather was less aggressive, but equally teasing when she kissed him too, pressing her slim body against his and Hiccup needed to move her before anything started... getting interested.

"Come on. Snot's looking."

Astrid's whisper against his ear sent a shiver down Hiccup's spine, very aware of the two women very close to the shocked, stunned and maybe a little _impressed_ expression of his cousin, Hiccup was led upstairs by Heather and Astrid, only letting up the fakery when his bedroom door was closed, at which point both women burst into giggles.

"Oh man, that was so fun!"

"And now" Astrid quickly crossed the room and made herself at home on Hiccup's bed "your cousin cannot doubt your prowess, since he thinks we're up here having a wild freaky threeway."

"Aw man, we shoulda brought up snacks! And drinks!"

Hiccup turned Heather on the spot, pointing her to his mini-fridge.

"Drinks are in there. If you're really hungry I have study snacks in that box, or we could order pizza... I can get downstairs without crossing the party."

"Study snacks work. Ooooh, chocolate M&Ms!"

"Yep. Sometimes I want to work all day and not have to encounter Scott drunk at midday in his underwear when I get hungry."

"I do not blame you. Astrid! Catch!"

A bag of peanuts was thrown across the room, which Astrid got to work on devouring. Hiccup lifted a cereal bar, fairly full on pizza but craving something sweet. The three settled on his - admittedly enormous, Hiccup liked to stretch out - bed, Astrid draping herself over Heather's lap in a way that made Hiccup question for a second if they were a couple and he just missed the memo.

"So, I don't buy what Snotface said. Why did you and your ex _really_ split up? You can't be that bad in the sack, surely."

"No, it wasn't that. We just didn't mesh very well, but both of us were stubborn and refused to just break up because we were unhappy. Like if we worked at it, we'd be happier. But that only led to arguments and we didn't end on great terms. She slept with Scott to get back at me, and I guess she told him I was no good. There were no complaints in that department when we were together, I swear."

Heather chewed an M&M thoughtfully, swallowed some juice and hummed before seeming to realise something.

"Hold on, was your ex called Hilde? Tall, redhead, great rack?"

Hiccup nodded, blinking as Heather gestured in front of her chest to go along with the descriptor 'great rack', which seemed to have also garnered Astrid's attention. The relationship had ended not long after university started, and Hiccup hadn't met Heather until a few weeks after.

"Yeah, why?"

"I know her, she goes to my archery centre. Heard her talking to her friend about the guys cousin being a two-pump chump. I didn't realise you were the ex."

Well, at least Hilde hadn't had much fun with Scott. Soothed by the knowledge, Hiccup smiled into his drink.

"Actual confirmation Scott is a bad lay. Ah, not a surprise but yet satisfying to know. More satisfying than him, apparently."

Snickering to herself, Astrid rolled up from the bed and headed to Hiccup's ensuite bathroom - the real reason he paid more of the rent, to have that to himself. She came back a couple of minutes later, and they laughed and chatted about how the girls planned to make comments about Hiccup that would imply he was an excellent bedmate, just to wind Scott up some more the next morning. Astrid started to get a little graphic, at which point Heather intervened and told Astrid it was time for sleep.

"It's good you have such a big bed."

"Yeah. I like to stretch out, but I can share for the night."

And if Hiccup made sure to turn away so any wayward erections wouldn't go prodding at his friends while they slept, since they weren't _actually_ there for a threesome, then that was his business.

* * *

Waking up with someone holding her was not, in itself, unusual for Astrid. She and Heather woke that way sometimes, when they fell asleep after some of their friends-with-benefits sex. Which sure beat dealing with relationship drama, but meant Astrid got laid plenty. And Heather was _hot,_ which certainly helped.

What was unusual was waking up with arms around her, but Heather in front of her, arms in clear sight and nowhere near Astrid's waist.

Not to mention, Heather didn't usually have a solid erection pressed against her back. A rather sizeable one at that. Heather had one eye open, and Astrid mouthed "oh my gods" at her in hopes of conveying that Hiccup was secretly packing some serious heat. Hiccup appeared to still be sleeping, as when Astrid pressed back against him experimentally, he didn't immediately recoil and apologise. If anything, he sort of pressed back, the thin cotton of sleep shorts not enough to completely stifle the heat of his erection against her back, where Astrid's shirt had ridden up in the night. Having gone to sleep a little horny and disappointed she couldn't mount Heather, Astrid felt herself grow wet as Hiccup frotted against her, body warming to the idea of a morning tryst as she she blessed the lack of hangover.

"Hey babe, pass me my drink?"

"Mm. Sure."

The noise seemed to rouse Hiccup, who halted and jerked awake all at once. Astrid didn't say anything as Heather handed her the bottle, which rid Astrid of the stale, dry taste in her mouth and left her throat feeling much better. HIccup finally let go of her, which was a little disappointing, stammering an apology.

"I didn't mean anything by-"

"It's fine Hiccup. Hel, more than fine by the feel of you."

Brushing her messy bangs out of her face, Astrid saw Heather's little nod, then finally turned over to face Hiccup as Heather was getting up to go to the bathroom. He was quite attractive first thing, she decided. Morning stubble roughened his jaw while sleep softened his features, cheeks slightly pink with embarrassment as he rubbed sleep out of his eyes. Blinking away the groggy haze left his eyes bright and green and really quite close to Astrid, with their close waking positions.

"I uh... thanks? I think?"

Astrid contemplated him, with his wide eyes and waiting erection, already knowing the poor lad hadn't gotten any action in a while and that went quite well with the insistent throbbing in her groin.

"You're welcome. I'm happy to help with your little problem, if you want."

His eyes followed the way Astrid licked her dry lips avidly, but she could already see he was planning to turn her down.

"I-I... wouldn't want to ruin our friendship."

"And you think sex will do that? I fuck Heather all the time, we're still friends. Isn't that right Heather?"

"Yeah!"

She had to shout to be heard over the running tap, but Heather was clearly listening.

"You... oh. Ok. Still. I don't know."

"Come on Hiccup, what's a little oral between friends?"

Astrid hadn't had sex with anyone other than Heather in a couple of months now, and the prospect of a new body was very welcome. With Heather involved, that was. Hiccup's cheeks reddened further, and he shook his head.

"I uh, I'm fine thanks. I don't really... like that."

 _That_ had her interest. Sure, some guys preferred penetration, and there were some who weren't huge fans of blowjobs, but Astrid hadn't met a guy who outright said no to a willing mouth, even just for foreplay.

"Do you not like it, or was your last girlfriend just not very good?"

"Because I can attest that Astrid's mouth is _very_ good."

Heather was back, hovering near the door with that maddeningly attractive smirk playing across her lips.

"I-I... I guess it wasn't _great_ with Hilde. She didn't really like doing it, and even though I didn't ask she sometimes did but it was obvious neither of us were having fun."

Sensing his resolve to protect the sanctity of their friendship slowly weakening, Astrid brushed a hand over the top of his thigh, just glancing across where conversation had not softened him any.

"Well, _I_ happen to both be pretty damn good, and I _really_ like giving head. Look, if you don't want to, it's fine. And if you do want to but end up not liking it still, then say so. We'll do something else."

"Yeah, if the two of us can't make it good for you, nothing will."

"T-two of you?"

Well, Astrid got the feeling the prospect of a double-blowjob actually appealed to Hiccup, feeling the twitch of his shorts where her hand still rested near tented fabric. Heather winked, nudging Hiccup so he'd shuffle up and make room, leaving him effectively trapped but there was no hint Hiccup wanted to escape from such a predicament. His eyes were wide, nervous as Astrid and Heather each placed a hand on his waistband, tugging the material down to free his cock. His nerves didn't immediately abate - being appraised in such an intimate way could be nerve-wracking, Astrid guessed - but by the time Astrid leant down and laved a long, wet lick along the swollen shaft, she doubted he was nervous anymore.

At first, he seemed muted, though not disinterested. Astrid knew he was expecting it to be lackluster as before, and redoubled her efforts. Heather worked just as hard, both moving tongues up and down the sides, alternating sucks to the tip and base, one or both of them reaching up to fondle his sac. When Hiccup began to gasp and shudder, Astrid reckoned they'd converted him. The throbbing pulse against her tongue only made her wetter, thighs squeezing in search of relief even as Astrid nuzzled the underside of his shaft, licking her way up Hiccup's cock until she met Heather's mouth, both kissing messily around the head and smirking when Hiccup whined at the sight and sensation.

"So" Astrid squeezed the base of his erection, Heather working the head with her tongue "still not a fan?"

"D-definitely a fan!"

Astrid winked, biting playfully at his inner thigh and enjoying his surprised yelp. Even if Hiccup didn't enjoy the feeling of mouths and tongues on his cock as much as other guys did, she reckoned the visual alone of two hot women all over his cock was pretty damn good by itself. Hel, Astrid found the sight of Heather's face between her thighs, all intense focus and eager tongue, almost as arousing as the actual feelings inspired by said tongue.

"A-strid! He-heather!"

"Hm?"

Both looked up from where they hadn't released his cock, humming against the firm length.

"I-I'm gonna-fuck!-gonna come!"

He was almost _too_ responsive, shuddering as Astrid closed her mouth over his head, knowing she was more a fan of swallowing than Heather and bucking as his cock swelled and jerked between her lips. Testing him, Astrid tongued his tip and that was all he could take, spilling hot and thick into her mouth, swallowed down as he came and came and _came._ He was a trembling, boneless mess by the time Astrid finally let him go, softening to rest against his abdomen while she wiped the side of her mouth.

"I think you needed that."

"Uh-huh. Gods..."

Hiccup brushed errant hair from his eyes, still panting and trying to catch his breath while Astrid turned to Heather, who was quite quickly on top of her, kissing Astrid soundly and tasting the sticky remnants of Hiccup's climax there on her tongue. Kissing Heather usually led to more, though Astrid was vaguely aware they had an audience even as Heather's hands wormed under her shirt. Astrid didn't remember taking her bra off for bed, but she must have done since Heather's fingers met bare skin, squeezing at her breasts and smiling when Astrid moaned into her mouth.

Astrid lost her shirt before Hiccup was more than a casual observer, hesitant at first, but Heather encouraged him until Astrid was watching her friends face go slack with pleasure, the angle meaning she couldn't see Hiccup's movements but it was clear his fingers now worked to bring Heather the same lusting high they had just given him. Astrid felt slender fingers slip over her thigh, Heather growling low in her throat when she found Astrid hadn't worn underwear the night before - she _had_ been planning to head back to the dorm with Heather and introduce that fact, but events had intervened until now, they were there in Hiccup's bed.

Hot and needy already, Astrid didn't take long to squirm and mewl as Heather stroked her inside and out, an expert in playing her body perfectly by then. A second set of green eyes flashed at her over Heather's shoulder, Hiccup touching her while watching her touch Astrid in a messy, close daisy-chain thing. Hiccup reached out, hand splaying over her naked chest and oh did Astrid love his big hands right then and there, palming her breast and toying with her nipple. She shook with a sudden climax first, bucking against Heather's hand and moaning as those hot waves of ecstacy rolled over her. Heather wasn't far behind, loose hair of her fringe brushing Astrid's face as her head fell forward, shaking and rocking back on Hiccup's fingers to chase and sustain her high.

A brief glance was enough to confirm that Hiccup was full-mast again - he hadn't even pulled up his shorts, hardened cock straining in their direction.

"You have condoms?"

Hiccup nodded, leaning back and wiping his hand off on the sheets beneath him; by the time Astrid and Heather were done with him, he'd need fresh bedding anyway. The drawer he opened was creaky, and he made a distinct sound of disappointment a few seconds later.

"What's wrong?"

"They're out of date. I told you it had been a while."

Astrid cocked her head, looking up at Heather questioningly. Heather bit her lip before nodding.

"Have you had a sexual health check since you last had sex?"

Hiccup nodded, eyebrow raised.

"Yeah, why?"

"Well, we're clean and on contraceptives already. If you're clean too, we _could..._ go without. I will cut your balls off if you're lying."

With wide eyes that said he knew she was deadly serious, Hiccup reached into the drawer again and handed her a piece of paper from it, confirming he was cleared of any possible communicable disease. Heather glanced, but took Astrid's acceptance as a statement they were safe with him. Paper discarded, Astrid leant up and kissed Heather before crawling over to straddle Hiccup, already more than ready to take him. He seemed shocked by the lack of preamble, but when Astrid was swallowing his cock inside slick, soft heat, his shock made way for the mind-melting pleasure.

She hadn't even gotten to taking off her skirt. Not that Astrid particularly cared, though she dimly wondered if Hiccup minded the fabric rubbing back and forth over his belly as Astrid started moving. The steady strokes of his thick cock inside her, hard and dragging over all the right spots as soon as Astrid shifted her knees slightly to change the angle, they sent heady darts of pleasure rolling through Astrid's body on each rocking motion she made.

"You just-uhhhh, just gonna sit there Heather?"

Heather blinked, but seemed to catch on to what Hiccup was saying quick enough and began undressing.

"Got a better place for me to sit?"

"You could say that."

Slim thighs either side of his head, Heather lowered herself to his mouth and gripped the headboard as Hiccup's hands came up to grip her ass. Judging by Heather's response as she experienced Hiccup's oral attentions, he wasn't lacking in _that_ department skill-wise either. Astrid didn't realise she'd stopped to watch the show until Hiccup's hips flexed, pressing deeper into her in a silent plea for her to move on him again. As if knowing why she had stopped to begin with, Hiccup halted his motions on Heather before telling her to turn around.

Now _that_ was a view. Hiccup's wet pink tongue curled up, lapping at Heather's clit and the way she had to spread her legs to stay upright meant Astrid didn't miss a thing. Her arms behind her to grip the headboard pushed out her chest, practically calling out to Astrid's hands. One braced on Hiccup for stability, the other reached out to play with the soft mounds of Heather's breast before sliding up, clutching in her friends hair and brought her closer for a sloppy kiss.

As she rode Hiccup, Astrid noticed he'd moan in response to her rutting and that the vibrations of his grunts and groans affected Heather too, which only urged her to move faster, having never gotten to see Heather go to pieces in the positions they were in now and regretting that life choice immensely. Because it was _awesome._

With the sight of Heather riding his tongue, watching her nude body quiver and hearing Heather moan... it was amazing Astrid had any lasting power at all, but that plus the steady pressure of Hiccup's cock filling her, deep and hot and satisfying, it was too much, _way_ too much for her mind and body to handle at once. Body seizing and shaking, her fingers curled until her knuckles turned white, certain her mouth was letting out all sorts of nonsense noises and caring zero for it.

The sticky heat that filled Astrid minutes later told that it was too much for Hiccup to hold out any longer, though he barely took a breath before resuming his efforts to bring Heather off, his efforts soon paid off by full-body tremors and Heather swearing colourfully as she came, all three shaking bags of nerves and need as they disentangled lazily, slumping on the bed. Astrid felt his come leak out of her, a little unusual but not entirely unpleasant. Her skirt was probably ruined though.

All the more reason to take it off, Astrid decided.

"Well, I can thoroughly confirm that your ex did not leave you for bad sex. Damn, she was crazy to let you go."

"Heh. You guys are good for my ego."

Closer to his face than Astrid, Heather kissed him, then swatted at him.

"I mean it."

Astrid nodded in agreement, though she was slinking up the bed to lie across Hiccup's chest in the process.

"We can't be certain yet Heather. At least, not until we trade places. You take south, I'll take north?"

Hiccup groaned, but Astrid reckoned it was one of happiness, not dismay.

"Good point Astrid!"

* * *

Seriously, how much longer was that going to go on? Scott groaned, rubbing at his head to try and dispell the hangover. He'd not surfaced until almost ten that morning, but the noisy trio were still going at it three hours later when he decided lunch was worth leaving his bed. There was leftover pizza on the side, which would have to do.

He was kinda bummed, after the girl he'd been certain was a total sure thing instead going off with _Fishlegs_ of all people. He wondered if telling Tuff would be a good idea or not, resolving to think about it when his head no longer felt like there was a full marching band in there.

"Oh, we are definitely doing _that_ again."

The three had finally surfaced, and Scott grumbled inwardly that they had some very clear "well-fucked and happy about it" expressions on their faces. Hiccup was looking shyer, almost bashful, but damned if he didn't look happy.

Well, Scott was happy for him. Not that he'd _ever_ tell anybody that.

-HTTYD-

 **I swear I got to like 1000 words and thought I'd actually _struggle_ to make this reach 2.5-3k total. Pretty sure i smashed that goal with all my ramblings.**


End file.
